something amazing.

I like art history, Darjeeling tea, awkward movies, beat poetry, cooking and springtime. The fact on whether I want to sleep alone or with someone depends on how much of the bed I want to take up that day. I don't know how to play poker, not well, but I know how to take off my clothes. I know more than the average person. I know that miso soup cures everything on Sunday morning, or at least a hangover from the Saturday you probably don't remember. I know that my shoe size seems to change every time I put on a pair of shoes. I know that one time I was walking around downtown and I was so high that I swore that the arches of my feet were shifting beneath me, and flattening. I know that I am weak, but I can't be walked over. I know that I am a writer. A writer is how you think. You read like a writer, you listen to music like a writer, you even drink like a writer on a public toilet, one foot on each side of the seat, stockings up to your thigh in lace. I know that a ticket prize raise of two pound should not cause something short of a panic attack. I know that you seem to turn out a lot better when you raise yourself from childhood. I know that I can't stand to be waited on. Even people in shops who ask if I need help overwhelm me. I know that some of the clothing shops in Kensington strangely resemble my own closet too much. I know that the men outside the rasta shop in the summer who put scented oil on your hand as you walk down the street really know what they're doing. I know that I love to be asked questions when I am thinking, and I love to fill out questionnaires. I know that I have a huge imagination, and its never really left me. I know that I could tell you a story on the spot about anything, and it would be more than half good. I tell stories. Anecdotes. I have had people recite them, I tell them so many times. I know that I get angry really easily, and fast. I know that I've turned over our coffee table once and now it only has glass on one side. I know that I have many secrets, because I'm saving them all to tell one person, one day. I know that I can find strong connections with people really quickly. I know that I get carried away. I know that not many people will read this, but you should know that when I write, I always write only for myself. Writing is a very selfish thing, and don't be fooled if anyone tells you otherwise.

i really hope you're happy.


thats all i can say.

ugly

 


It wears me out.

afternoon

Blues man. Black and bluesman. Blacktherefore blue man.
Everybody knows your name.
Where-did-she-go-and-why man. So-lonesome-I-could-die man.
Everybody knows your name.

“It’s twenty times better to be friends
with someone
than it is to be in love with them.”

i am sick. i am sad. i am crap.





i am without you.
i can't even breathe.

help.

What do you want? What do you want? Over and over again as though the question itself will bring an answer. Nothing. Nothing comes. I want nothing.
This is what my life is really like. I think you tend to romanticize me, but this is reality.
P.S Am I suppost to feel sorry for you, or think you’re grotesque?
P.P.S I am not afraid of you anymore, I’m more afraid of myself.